Self-Confident People Make More Money, Study

Children with low-self confidence are not only bully magnets. Low self-confidence translates into lower earnings once bullying victims become adults. 


University of Florida management professor 
Timothy Judge says: 
"People with high opinions of themselves as teenagers and young adults drew bigger salaries in middle age than their less confident counterparts, and the gap was widest for those from privileged backgrounds."

This means that even if you grew up with wealthy parents, you're more likely to earn more money if you have high self-esteem than if you have low self-confidence (and wealthy parents). 

The financial status and income of your parents can help you earn money in the short term, but your self-confidence and self-esteem translates to long-term wealth and earnings.

Professor Judge found that self-esteem makes more impact if your parents have professional occupations or backgrounds. People from affluent families earn $28,000 more per year if they're confident, as compared to those who have wealthy parents but have low self-esteem. Those from less advantaged families only earn $7,000 more if they have high self-esteem than those who have lower self-confidence.

Your background makes a difference for your future, but your self-confidence gives you an extra advantage when it comes to making money.

Agreeableness Is Penalized 

Analyzing data from the Dutch DNB Household Survey, Nyhus and Pons [2005] found 

that among women agreeableness was associated with lower wages while men 

received a premium for autonomy (as tenure increases) and for conscientiousness 

(at the beginning of an employment relationship). 

Study confirmed that for both genders agreeableness was penalized while 

openness to experience was rewarded with higher wages in the labour market.

How Self-Esteem Affects Financial Income

Positive self-regard makes a difference in all aspects of your life! When you have high levels of self-confidence, you:

• Are more likely to take risks.
• Don't blame yourself for mistakes.
• Bounce back easier after failure.
• Are more motivated to achieve.
• Have ambitious goals.
• Make less self-destructive choices.
• Are more likely to ask for help or seek support.
• Strongly believe in yourself.

How to Increase Self-Esteem and Earn More Money

One way to build a positive self-concept is to succeed at slightly difficult things – and learn to bounce back from failures. Try setting small challenges at which you're likely to taste success, such as making conversation with a stranger at a party or speaking up at a meeting at work.

Work up to the bigger goals -- like earning a million or more dollars a year -- and go easy on yourself when you stumble.

See how The Prevention Team helps school kids stop bullying

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Comebacks for Victims of Name Calling

Just about every person has found themselves the victim of name calling at least once in their lives.

A kid with provocative name becomes a victim of school bullying throughout the childhood. 

How to help a child to stand up for himself, 

to remain self-confident and stop bullies. 

Find out few tested comebacks from bullystoppers.com, first free bully reporting web site.

Comebacks are not for everyone!  

Comebacks can be helpful when dealing with mean kids, however, kids should practice comebacks with an adult. Comebacks don't stop bullying, BUT they can increase confidence, which can discourage bullies.  

Comebacks is not a return insult! Never use a comeback if a kid may become challenged or violent!   

Here's an advice on using comebacks from bullystoppers.com:  

  

The key to comeback lines is to remain COOL and AVOID the temptation to trade name calling or personal insults with the bully or teaser.  A great comeback line is brief and to the point and leaves the bully or teaser feeling that they did not get to you!  Don't forget to always look them in the eye and keep cool - anger is a sign to them that what they are doing is working.  Try some of the following, however always remember:  if another student is threatening physicalviolence toward you, don't say anything to him or her - do your best to get away from the situation and to where a teacher or other adult is located. 

Perfect Comebacks:

"You - You're good!"

"Very good!."

"Ok, I'm hurt."

"What? Again?"

"Is this your goal in life or something?"

"Not getting tired of this?"

"This....... again?"

"Thank you!"

"Grow up."

"Great try."

"That one hurt."

"Sticks and stones."

"Mission accomplished."

"You are wasting my time."

"Funny..... funny.  Laugh....laugh."

"And with a smile on his face...."

"You're the KING"

What? Are you talking to me?

"Blah  - blah"

"New material?"

"The real you can't be this mean."

"You used to be a good kid."

Or just wait a bit and change your name!

There's a reason Lea Michele is so convincing as a bullied teen on the hit show 'Glee,' -- the star reveals she was the victim of bullying in her real life, too! The taunts were specifically hurtful when they came to Lea's original last name, "Sarfati." In fact, the teasing got so bad that Lea took it upon herself to change her surname altogether!

"I don't use it a lot because I got 'Lea So Fatty' and 'Lea So Farty' in school,"  -shared the star of the movie 'New Year's Eve'. 

See how The Prevention Team helps school kids stop bullying

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Disney to Bully Obese Kids With It's New Theme Park

Disney had to close a new theme park exhibit promoting healthy eating and exercise, but not because it was ineffectual. 
The reason? 
It was deemed too offensive to overweight children. 

Habit Heroes, an attraction at Disney's Epcot resort in Orlando, Florida, used obese cartoon villains called Snacker, Lead Bottom and The Glutton to highlight the dangers of junk food, too much television, and inactivity. 

But critics accused Disney of taking "the side of the bullies" by reinforcing stereotypes of overweight children and stigmatising them for their condition, prompting the entertainment giant to shutter the attraction for a "retooling".

Children in Grades 3 through 6 who are obese are more likely to be bullied than their normal-weight peers, a new study has found. 

"When we started this study, I really suspected that we might find that the obesity or overweight might not be the driving force," says the lead author of the study, Julie Lumeng, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor. "What we found is that it didn't matter. No matter how good your social skills, if you were overweight or obese you were more likely to be bullied." 

The study involved 821 US boys and girls 8 to 11 years old. In third grade, 17 percent of the children were obese and 15 percent were overweight.

A quarter of the children reported being bullied, although their mothers said about 45 percent of them were bullied.

According to the investigators, the odds of being bullied were 63 percent higher for an obese child, compared to a healthy-weight peer.

Positive Effect of Bullying the Obese

Can the bullying be considered a positive thing if it motivates a child to acquire good habits? See yourself:

Just a year ago the 6th grader Mason Harvey weighed 206 pounds. Today he's 85 pounds lighter.

Harvey says the reason he decided to lose weight was because he was being bullied. Starting in the third grade, the other kids would call him names like "fat" and "jelly roll" and push him around.

Harvey was fed up with the bullying. So he began to take small steps. He hit the gym, stopped drinking soda pop, burgers and pizza.

Today he eats carrots at school for snacks, with a bit of ranch dressing. He says he can't believe he was 85 pounds heavier.

But Harvey decided not to stop there, he insisted that his parents join him.

"We're not just sleeping in all day, laying around," explains Mike Harvey. "We're getting up, we're moving and it's making us feel better."

His father once weighed more than 324 pounds, now he's down to 298.




Obese Boys Are More Likely to Be Bullied

The researchers claim that boys more often experience overt bullying victimization than girls. Gender differences are also reported in relational victimization before adolescence in the USA. Boys are more often victims of physical bullying if they are physically weaker, while recent evidence also suggests that overweight and obese adolescent boys are more likely to be perpetrators of bullying than their average weight peers. 

See how The Prevention Team http://thepreventionteam.com/helps school kids stop bullying here: 
http://thepreventionteam.com/

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Babies Are the Best Weapon Against Bullies, Research Found

Around babies tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up.                       
In the previous posts I mentioned that bullying is actually natural. Animals fight each other, the stronger species get to stay, while the weaker ones must die - an evolutionary law.We humans are the part of the nature and it seems that we are also hardwired to be aggressive and selfish. Well, the researchers from Princeton University found there is a biological reason for compassion.


Brain scans reveal that when we contemplate violence done to others we activate the same regions in our brains that fire up when mothers gaze at their children. It suggests that caring for strangers may be instinctual. When we help others, areas of the brain associated with pleasure also light up. Research by scientists Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello indicates that toddlers as young as 18 months behave altruistically. 

More important, we are beginning to understand how to nurture this biological potential. It seems that it’s not only possible to make people kinder, it’s possible to do it systematically at scale – at least with school children. 

That’s what one organization based in Toronto called Roots of Empathy has done.

Roots of Empathy, a Toronto-based organization is doing incredible work in the hopes of reducing bullying worldwide, by increasing empathy in schoolchildren. 

At the heart of the program are a neighbourhood infant and parent who visit the classroom every three weeks over the school year. 

A trained Roots of Empathy Instructor coaches students to observe the baby's development and to label the baby's feelings. In this experiential learning, the baby is the "Teacher" and a lever, which the instructor uses to help children identify and reflect on their own feelings and the feelings of others. 

This "emotional literacy" taught in the program lays the foundation for more safe and caring classrooms, where children are the "Changers". 

They are more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy) and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically and emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other cruelties.

In the Roots of Empathy program children learn how to challenge cruelty and injustice. Messages of social inclusion and activities that are consensus building contribute to a culture of caring that changes the tone of the classroom. The Instructor also visits before and after each family visit to prepare and reinforce teachings using a specialized lesson plan for each visit. Research results from national and international evaluations of Roots of Empathy indicate significant reductions in aggression and increases in pro-social behavior."

Watch baby Sydney visiting the high school within Roots of Empathy program

So far our researchers have evaluated ROE’s impact on children up to three years after program completion. Results show an increase in social/emotional understanding and pro-social behaviour and a decrease in aggression compared to children who do not participate.  Children become more caring, helpful and kind, and feel more accepted by their peers. 

The program has gone into 13,000 classrooms; when writer David Bornstein investigated, he said: “What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes.”

So maybe babies are the answer. And since kids don’t get to experience babies at home anymore, I guess we need to bring babies to school.

See how The Prevention Team helps school kids stop bullying here: 
http://thepreventionteam.com/

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Why Anti-Bully Policies Will Never Work: What Aristotle Could Have Told Us

"The only place where everyone is always nice to each other is Heaven".

-Dr. Izzy Kalman, school psychologist and psychotherapist, creator of BulliesToBuddies.com educational resource.

Bully Teachers

According to Dr.Kalman's Bullying Survey, more than half of mental health professionals and educators are currently feeling victimized and they don't know how to make the bullying stop.

The survey involved about 1,000 mental health professionals and educators. 

To the item, "There is at least one person in my life that I get angry with fairly regularly," 57% answered Yes. Furthermore the academic bullying experts define anger as an act of bullying. So by getting angry, these same 57% are simultaneously being bullies. That's because when you get angry, you feel like a victim, but you look like a bully!

6% of respondents answered affirmatively to, "I have a child who gets hit by other kids in school at least once a day."

21% answered Yes to, "My children hit each other at least once a day."

This means that children of mental health professionals and educators are three-and-a-half times more likely to be hit by a sibling at home than by a kid in school. 

If experts at human relations do such a lousy job of protecting a couple of their own kids from each other at home, how in the world can they expect one teacher to protect thirty kids from each other in school? The answer is that they shouldn't expect it, but they do anyway.

Bully Parents

Anti-bully programs are based on the idea that bullying is a learned behavior. Just as kids have learned to be bullies, they now need to be taught how to be saints. Who, exactly, is going to teach our kids to be saints? You and I? Who do you think they could have learned bullying from in the first place?!

A review of national and international research about bullying, that was published in August 2008, has found increasing evidence of a family connection with bullying. Elizabeth Sweeney, a University of Cincinnati master's degree student in sociology presented her findings to the 103rd annual meeting of the American Sociological Association.

Sweeney reviewed research out of England, Germany, Norway, Japan, South Africa and the United States, and the majority of the research that she examined involved children between the ages of 9 and 16. She found that children raised by authoritarian parents - parents who are demanding, directive and unresponsive - are the most prone to act out bullying behavior.

"Children who experience hostility, abuse, physical discipline and other aggressive behaviors by their parents are more likely to model that behavior in their peer relationships," Sweeney wrote. "Children learn from their parents how to behave and interact with others. So if they're learning about aggression and angry words at home, they will tend to use these behaviors as coping mechanisms when they interact with their peers."

Watch Two Moms Who Bully Their Children Video

What Aristotle Could Have Told Us

In case you are curious, would you like to know why anti-bully policies don't work? 

It's because they can't - never have, never will. Aristotle figured that out 2400 years ago.

Aristotle, the most influential thinker in the history of the Western world, advocated for good government and for providing maximum rights to people. Yet even he knew, "The one thing that no state or government can do, no matter how good it is, is to make its citizens morally virtuous." (Mortimer Adler, in "Aristotle for Everybody"; McMillan Publishing Company, 1978).

But this is precisely what the anti-bully movement is trying to do - guarantee our children a life surrounded by morally virtuous people. In other words - saints. Strange as this may sound, if you carefully inspect the academic definition of bullying, you'll realize that anyone who doesn't meet the criteria of sainthood is a "bully".

The Answer: Golden Rule

You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

Anti-bully activists have been trying to promote the Golden Rule. However, the activists don't truly understand the Golden Rule. They believe it means, Don't act like a bully. They are really promoting reciprocity: We will be nice to you if you are nice to us, but if you bully us, we will have no tolerance for you and we will get you punished ("administered consequences," in current jargon). What the anti-bully activists don't realize is that the Golden Rule really means, Don't act like a victim! 

If I live by reciprocity, I have very little control of my relationships. If you are nice to me, I will be nice in return and we will be friends. However, if you are mean to me, I will be mean in return and we will be enemies. The GR puts me in control. I will be nice to you even when you are mean to me. Why? Because how long can you continue being mean to me when I am always nice to you? Before long, you are going to start being nice to me because you are biologically programmed to treat me the way I treat you. 

f we were to replace our zero-tolerance-for-bullying policies with this simple expression of the GR–Love your enemy (bully); be nice to people even when they are mean to you–bullying would disappear. And if we were to teach it on an international level, we might achieve peace on earth.

More On Golden Rule

See What The Prevention Team Is Doing to Stop Bullying at Schools

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Self-Bullying: Fight a Bully Within

Psychology Today: "Bullies couldn't exist without victims, and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out lack assertiveness and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. No one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either..."
You know how bad it feels when another person negatively judges you. It's awful. 
How does negative self-judgment make you feel? Each time you call yourself stupid, ugly, not good enough, etc you are taking positive energy from yourself.  
Have you ever negatively judged yourself? Ever compare yourself to others? 
This is self-bullying.




How to Cancel Out All the Negative Judgments

"Take your index finger and press it to your thumb like you were squishing a piece of dirt between those fingers. Now, each time you make a negative judgement about others or yourself, press those fingers together and squish out that negativity. Immediately  replace the negative judgement with a positive statement. The more you do this the easier it will be to not make negative judgments at all. Practice, practice, practice and it's ll get easier over time..."

-Hey U.G.L.Y, non-profit organization founded in response to the daily headlines describing the increase in teen suicide, gun violence in schools, bullying, drug abuse, eating disorders, and the obesity epidemic facing American youth. 

Read More on Defending Yourself Against Self-Bullying

Building Confidence Thru Play

The Goddard School, Gilbertsville. Playful learning activities are teacher-planned and child-directed, and designed to nurture each child’s self confidence. This approach to learning, which helps introduce children to new skills in a playful and engaging way, is supported by a growing body of research from Play for Tomorrow, the consortium behind the respected “playful learning” movement.

“We make learning enjoyable and we build in lots of opportunity for each child to experience the satisfaction of success. A key benefit of this approach to learning is its emphasis on building self-esteem and confidence as children try, and succeed at, new challenges,” said Salvatore Boccella, the owner. “A   confident child is much less likely to develop into a bully or to accept bullying from another child.”


Read More on Confidence is Best Defense Against Bullying

Face Bullying With Confidence

Walk With Awareness, Calm, Respect, and Confidence

People are less likely to be picked on and more likely to be listened to if they walk, sit, and act with awareness, calm, respect, and confidence. This means keeping one's head up, back straight, taking brisk steps, looking around, having a peaceful face and body, noticing what is happening around you, and moving away from people who might cause trouble.

Show your kid the differences between acting passive, aggressive and assertive in body language, tone of voice, and choice of words. Coach your child to walk across the floor, coaching her or him to be successful, by saying for example; "That's great!" "Now take bigger steps", "Look around you" "Straighten your back." etc.

-"Bullying - What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe" by Irene van der Zande

Read More on 8 Anti-Bullying Skills Kids Can Use Right Away

Check out What The Prevention Team Does to Help School Kids Protect Themselves Against Bullying 

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How Bullying Impacts Career Choice

A study published in Canadian Journal of Career Development, examined the childhood environmental conditions of ten adult participants whose ages ranged from 26 years to 42 years.

Seven were female, and three were male participants. All were victims of bullying at some point in their youth.

An attempt was made to determine how these conditions, in combination with childhood victimization in the form of peer aggressions, impacted the selections made by the participants in regards to their employment and post-secondary educational choices.



"When children started teasing me, I probably only weighed five pounds more than I should have for my height. But kids seize on small differences. The tall child is a beanstalk, the short kid is a shrimp. By the time my weight became a problem — when I really was the fattest person (adults included) in school — I had long since given up weighing myself or caring. Making it through each brutal day became the only goal".

-Rebecca Golden, author of "Butterbabe: The True Adventures of a 40-Stone  Outsider" (Random House UK), lives and writes in Toledo, Ohio.

 Read More on Fat Girl Story
According to the research most of the participants who were bullied chose their occupations, because of an interest in their field or a desire to assist others, rather than making their choices for financial reasons, or for reasons of familial pressure.

All but one of the participants of the study pursued post-secondary education, and eight even completed more than one degree or diploma in more than one area of study. In addition, all participants were currently employed.

"For me starting the blog was both a cathartic experience and also one I wanted to do to show that adults still feel the effects of the bullying. By sharing my stories from an adult perspective, I felt I could help others that felt the same way".

-Alan Eisenberg, now an adult and video producer and director in Fairfax, Va., is still affected by the bullying that took place decades ago. Both physically and mentally, he was attacked for his Jewish heritage, his last name and the emotional way he reacted to being bullied. He is now working on a documentary to tell his story and get the perspective of the people who bullied him with the goal of showing the long-term effects of bullying has on adults.

Read More on Bullying Victims Use Stories for Advocacy

In addition, participants who had an elevated number of conditions that foster resiliency in their environment had diminished manifestations of the bullying on their future educational and occupational selections. In fact, all of the participants had elevated resiliency levels, all were employed, and most were currently pursuing a profession or educational endeavor for which they were passionate.

"Growing up in Mexico, I was bullied for being poor, short and "el perrero"—the dirty dog boy. I wanted to create this video for the It Gets Better Project to let kids know that it really does get better. I encourage you to please share it with anyone you think it could help. Thank you".

-Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer

Watch Cesar's It Gets Better Project Video

P.S. For those who bully others...

• One researcher to address this question is Dan Olweus who followed a small group of his Norwegian sample (15 victims, 56 non-victims, all males; 1993) and found that being victimized in grades 6 and 9 could be linked to greater depression and lower self-esteem at 23 years of age.

• Olweus also documented a connection between bullying and later criminality showing that 60% of those who bullied in grades 6 and/or 9 had at least one criminal conviction by age 24; 35-40% had three or more convictions (as compared to a group of non-bullying boys).
• Another research group in England asked boys about whether they were bullies at age 14, then 18, and then again at age 32 (18 year span) (25). The findings showed that about one in every five boys (18%) who saw himself as “a bit of a bully” at age 14 continued to report being a bully at age 32. A noticeable proportion of these adult bullies at 32 years of age was highly aggressive (61%) and had been convicted of violence (20%).

Read More on What Happens Over Time to Those Who Bully

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