Workplace Bullying

When people think of bullying it is mostly thought of as something that happens to our youth.  However, bullying at the work place is a very real thing and it happens every day in businesses around the world.  In fact, in a 2010 survey conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute, they estimated that 35% of workers experience bullying first hand.  The similarities with the school yard are uncanny too. Workplace bullying does not discriminate when it comes to gender or race, and with the majority of the bullying being same gender harassment it's like high school all over again.  The main difference between the two, however, is that in the workplace it could be as subtle and as clandestine as sabotaging another person's work or as extreme as in your face violence.  It can also either take place between a boss and their subordinates or between co-workers.  

I dare you to pull my finger!        

Workplace bullying is the ultimate undermining to legitimate business practices.  It has the ability to damage the bottom line, which is the sole purpose of any business.  If a co-worker is harassing you and stopping you from doing your job properly wouldn’t it be in the best interest of your boss to stop such behavior? You bet it would be, especially if that person has their own boss to answer to.  Working in a professional environment is all about accountability.  Part of being a boss or manager is making sure productivity stays at a high and that all interpersonal issues get resolved.  However, many of the reasons why a person never comes forward when being bullied at the office is the same reason why a child will not tell their peers.  The fear of repercussions from the bully are a scary thought when you job and income are on the line.  There are very few of us out there that can jeopardize their employment by accusing another of harassment.

You have to remember though that bullying takes place for the same reasons at both the schoolyard and workplace.  Bullies are driven by deep-seated insecurities that can arise at opportune times.  Whether to make themselves feel better or to further drive their ambitions by targeting the best employees, bulling can take the form of many different types.  They can be really aggressive or extremely secretive of their behavior towards their targets.  Pushing you as you get in the elevator may get you heated and give you the ability to focus your annoyance on someone, but secretly eating your lunch will probably have a bigger effect on you on the whole.  It’s the bullies we don’t see in the workplace that sometimes have the longest lasting effects. A loss of money and lack of energy from malnutrition will definitely set you back farther in your career than a shove.

Larger corporate jobs will have human resource departments that specialize in deterring and stopping work place bullying, but they are not always aware that such behavior even exists.  If you do work for such a corporation it would be best to alert your human resources representative in a private manner to discuss your concerns.  They will most assuredly reprimand the bully if such behavior is occurring due to the corporate mentality of steering clear of law suits and protecting themselves. However, understand that there are no laws in this country that are in place to stop such behavior.  If nothing is done and you say attain a lawyer, there is no guarantee that it is something that can be proven in a court of law.  You will also run the risk of ostracizing yourself from your other co-workers if such claims are not witnessed by others. I don't know of many companies that like to hire employees with what they might see as frivolous lawsuits against past employers either.  Of course it is wrong, but that is why you have to be very very careful how you proceed in the world of adult workplace bullying.

The bottom line is that you will find bullying no matter where you go, and no matter how old you are.  It is up to us, the individual, to help put a stop to bullying when it rears its ugly head.  Ignoring it will not make it go away, and running from it will sometimes only make it worse by feeding the bully. 

See how The Prevention Team  helps to stop bullying in your neighborhood.

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Babies Are the Best Weapon Against Bullies, Research Found

Around babies tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up.                       
In the previous posts I mentioned that bullying is actually natural. Animals fight each other, the stronger species get to stay, while the weaker ones must die - an evolutionary law.We humans are the part of the nature and it seems that we are also hardwired to be aggressive and selfish. Well, the researchers from Princeton University found there is a biological reason for compassion.


Brain scans reveal that when we contemplate violence done to others we activate the same regions in our brains that fire up when mothers gaze at their children. It suggests that caring for strangers may be instinctual. When we help others, areas of the brain associated with pleasure also light up. Research by scientists Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello indicates that toddlers as young as 18 months behave altruistically. 

More important, we are beginning to understand how to nurture this biological potential. It seems that it’s not only possible to make people kinder, it’s possible to do it systematically at scale – at least with school children. 

That’s what one organization based in Toronto called Roots of Empathy has done.

Roots of Empathy, a Toronto-based organization is doing incredible work in the hopes of reducing bullying worldwide, by increasing empathy in schoolchildren. 

At the heart of the program are a neighbourhood infant and parent who visit the classroom every three weeks over the school year. 

A trained Roots of Empathy Instructor coaches students to observe the baby's development and to label the baby's feelings. In this experiential learning, the baby is the "Teacher" and a lever, which the instructor uses to help children identify and reflect on their own feelings and the feelings of others. 

This "emotional literacy" taught in the program lays the foundation for more safe and caring classrooms, where children are the "Changers". 

They are more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy) and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically and emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other cruelties.

In the Roots of Empathy program children learn how to challenge cruelty and injustice. Messages of social inclusion and activities that are consensus building contribute to a culture of caring that changes the tone of the classroom. The Instructor also visits before and after each family visit to prepare and reinforce teachings using a specialized lesson plan for each visit. Research results from national and international evaluations of Roots of Empathy indicate significant reductions in aggression and increases in pro-social behavior."

Watch baby Sydney visiting the high school within Roots of Empathy program

So far our researchers have evaluated ROE’s impact on children up to three years after program completion. Results show an increase in social/emotional understanding and pro-social behaviour and a decrease in aggression compared to children who do not participate.  Children become more caring, helpful and kind, and feel more accepted by their peers. 

The program has gone into 13,000 classrooms; when writer David Bornstein investigated, he said: “What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes.”

So maybe babies are the answer. And since kids don’t get to experience babies at home anymore, I guess we need to bring babies to school.

See how The Prevention Team helps school kids stop bullying here: 
http://thepreventionteam.com/

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Why Anti-Bully Policies Will Never Work: What Aristotle Could Have Told Us

"The only place where everyone is always nice to each other is Heaven".

-Dr. Izzy Kalman, school psychologist and psychotherapist, creator of BulliesToBuddies.com educational resource.

Bully Teachers

According to Dr.Kalman's Bullying Survey, more than half of mental health professionals and educators are currently feeling victimized and they don't know how to make the bullying stop.

The survey involved about 1,000 mental health professionals and educators. 

To the item, "There is at least one person in my life that I get angry with fairly regularly," 57% answered Yes. Furthermore the academic bullying experts define anger as an act of bullying. So by getting angry, these same 57% are simultaneously being bullies. That's because when you get angry, you feel like a victim, but you look like a bully!

6% of respondents answered affirmatively to, "I have a child who gets hit by other kids in school at least once a day."

21% answered Yes to, "My children hit each other at least once a day."

This means that children of mental health professionals and educators are three-and-a-half times more likely to be hit by a sibling at home than by a kid in school. 

If experts at human relations do such a lousy job of protecting a couple of their own kids from each other at home, how in the world can they expect one teacher to protect thirty kids from each other in school? The answer is that they shouldn't expect it, but they do anyway.

Bully Parents

Anti-bully programs are based on the idea that bullying is a learned behavior. Just as kids have learned to be bullies, they now need to be taught how to be saints. Who, exactly, is going to teach our kids to be saints? You and I? Who do you think they could have learned bullying from in the first place?!

A review of national and international research about bullying, that was published in August 2008, has found increasing evidence of a family connection with bullying. Elizabeth Sweeney, a University of Cincinnati master's degree student in sociology presented her findings to the 103rd annual meeting of the American Sociological Association.

Sweeney reviewed research out of England, Germany, Norway, Japan, South Africa and the United States, and the majority of the research that she examined involved children between the ages of 9 and 16. She found that children raised by authoritarian parents - parents who are demanding, directive and unresponsive - are the most prone to act out bullying behavior.

"Children who experience hostility, abuse, physical discipline and other aggressive behaviors by their parents are more likely to model that behavior in their peer relationships," Sweeney wrote. "Children learn from their parents how to behave and interact with others. So if they're learning about aggression and angry words at home, they will tend to use these behaviors as coping mechanisms when they interact with their peers."

Watch Two Moms Who Bully Their Children Video

What Aristotle Could Have Told Us

In case you are curious, would you like to know why anti-bully policies don't work? 

It's because they can't - never have, never will. Aristotle figured that out 2400 years ago.

Aristotle, the most influential thinker in the history of the Western world, advocated for good government and for providing maximum rights to people. Yet even he knew, "The one thing that no state or government can do, no matter how good it is, is to make its citizens morally virtuous." (Mortimer Adler, in "Aristotle for Everybody"; McMillan Publishing Company, 1978).

But this is precisely what the anti-bully movement is trying to do - guarantee our children a life surrounded by morally virtuous people. In other words - saints. Strange as this may sound, if you carefully inspect the academic definition of bullying, you'll realize that anyone who doesn't meet the criteria of sainthood is a "bully".

The Answer: Golden Rule

You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

Anti-bully activists have been trying to promote the Golden Rule. However, the activists don't truly understand the Golden Rule. They believe it means, Don't act like a bully. They are really promoting reciprocity: We will be nice to you if you are nice to us, but if you bully us, we will have no tolerance for you and we will get you punished ("administered consequences," in current jargon). What the anti-bully activists don't realize is that the Golden Rule really means, Don't act like a victim! 

If I live by reciprocity, I have very little control of my relationships. If you are nice to me, I will be nice in return and we will be friends. However, if you are mean to me, I will be mean in return and we will be enemies. The GR puts me in control. I will be nice to you even when you are mean to me. Why? Because how long can you continue being mean to me when I am always nice to you? Before long, you are going to start being nice to me because you are biologically programmed to treat me the way I treat you. 

f we were to replace our zero-tolerance-for-bullying policies with this simple expression of the GR–Love your enemy (bully); be nice to people even when they are mean to you–bullying would disappear. And if we were to teach it on an international level, we might achieve peace on earth.

More On Golden Rule

See What The Prevention Team Is Doing to Stop Bullying at Schools

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How Bullying Impacts Career Choice

A study published in Canadian Journal of Career Development, examined the childhood environmental conditions of ten adult participants whose ages ranged from 26 years to 42 years.

Seven were female, and three were male participants. All were victims of bullying at some point in their youth.

An attempt was made to determine how these conditions, in combination with childhood victimization in the form of peer aggressions, impacted the selections made by the participants in regards to their employment and post-secondary educational choices.



"When children started teasing me, I probably only weighed five pounds more than I should have for my height. But kids seize on small differences. The tall child is a beanstalk, the short kid is a shrimp. By the time my weight became a problem — when I really was the fattest person (adults included) in school — I had long since given up weighing myself or caring. Making it through each brutal day became the only goal".

-Rebecca Golden, author of "Butterbabe: The True Adventures of a 40-Stone  Outsider" (Random House UK), lives and writes in Toledo, Ohio.

 Read More on Fat Girl Story
According to the research most of the participants who were bullied chose their occupations, because of an interest in their field or a desire to assist others, rather than making their choices for financial reasons, or for reasons of familial pressure.

All but one of the participants of the study pursued post-secondary education, and eight even completed more than one degree or diploma in more than one area of study. In addition, all participants were currently employed.

"For me starting the blog was both a cathartic experience and also one I wanted to do to show that adults still feel the effects of the bullying. By sharing my stories from an adult perspective, I felt I could help others that felt the same way".

-Alan Eisenberg, now an adult and video producer and director in Fairfax, Va., is still affected by the bullying that took place decades ago. Both physically and mentally, he was attacked for his Jewish heritage, his last name and the emotional way he reacted to being bullied. He is now working on a documentary to tell his story and get the perspective of the people who bullied him with the goal of showing the long-term effects of bullying has on adults.

Read More on Bullying Victims Use Stories for Advocacy

In addition, participants who had an elevated number of conditions that foster resiliency in their environment had diminished manifestations of the bullying on their future educational and occupational selections. In fact, all of the participants had elevated resiliency levels, all were employed, and most were currently pursuing a profession or educational endeavor for which they were passionate.

"Growing up in Mexico, I was bullied for being poor, short and "el perrero"—the dirty dog boy. I wanted to create this video for the It Gets Better Project to let kids know that it really does get better. I encourage you to please share it with anyone you think it could help. Thank you".

-Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer

Watch Cesar's It Gets Better Project Video

P.S. For those who bully others...

• One researcher to address this question is Dan Olweus who followed a small group of his Norwegian sample (15 victims, 56 non-victims, all males; 1993) and found that being victimized in grades 6 and 9 could be linked to greater depression and lower self-esteem at 23 years of age.

• Olweus also documented a connection between bullying and later criminality showing that 60% of those who bullied in grades 6 and/or 9 had at least one criminal conviction by age 24; 35-40% had three or more convictions (as compared to a group of non-bullying boys).
• Another research group in England asked boys about whether they were bullies at age 14, then 18, and then again at age 32 (18 year span) (25). The findings showed that about one in every five boys (18%) who saw himself as “a bit of a bully” at age 14 continued to report being a bully at age 32. A noticeable proportion of these adult bullies at 32 years of age was highly aggressive (61%) and had been convicted of violence (20%).

Read More on What Happens Over Time to Those Who Bully

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How Do We Prevent Bullying?

Who would have known that cyber-bullying could be just as deadly as any other type of bullying? When most people think of a bully, they imagine a large overpowering figure with dominating force. We do not think of 12-year-old girls who live in the suburbs. Statistics show that teenage girls who live in the suburbs are one of the largest demographics associated with cyber bullying. Individuals who live in the suburbs generally have more access to technology and the means to engage in cyber bullying.

Grace McComas, a 15-year-old Howard County, Baltimore student recently committed suicide as a result of the cyber bullying she experienced. Her death grabbed the attention of celebrity figures around the nation, including Baltimore Ravens player, Ray Rice, who will be discussing national bullying concerns at a town hall meeting.

Children like Grace are becoming far too common. They are being forced to their breaking points and seeking suicide as a means of escape. This will continue to happen until all types of bullying are treated as the crimes they truly are. Both schools and law enforcement need to become more strict with the ways in which they deal with acts of bullying. Bullying is a crime. The sooner we all accept this fact, the sooner we can begin to solve the problem. In order for an issue to be solved, it must first be addressed.       

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411 PAIN LAUNCHES A PROACTIVE ANTI BULLYING CAMPAIGN IN SOUTH FLORIDA SCHOOLS!

411 Pain, a medical and lawyer referral service, has gone beyond the norm to make a difference in the South Florida community. In addition to their numerous donations to underprivileged Elementary schools through the 411 Pain Read and Rise Campaign, they have recently teamed up with The Prevention Team to tackle one of the biggest issues in our middle & high schools today, Bullies! “The Prevention Team specializes in bringing Pro Athletes to Schools Nationwide to stop bullying before it happens. As a father, I know how serious this epidemic has become & knew this would be a great program to bring to the South Florida school system,” says Dr. Robert Lewin, president of 411 Pain.

As Title Sponsor of The Prevention Team, 411 Pain is launching their Anti Bullying Campaign beginning this month by funding ten school assemblies in Dade County and Broward County schools. Thanks to 411 Pain, students will have the tremendous opportunity to be educated by an NFL Player on what to do if they are a victim of being bullied, harassed on the internet, see others being bullied, and much more! Rhonda Beier, President of The Prevention Team states, “These assemblies are creating awareness, bringing solutions, and putting a STOP to bullying. We have had tremendous success so far and thanks to Dr. Robert Lewin and the 411 Pain Team, we will now be able to reac411 Pain 1-800-411-Pain 411-Pain Bullying CyberBullying The Prevention Team Anti-Bullying AntiBullyingh thousands of students and staff members throughout Florida.”

For information on scheduling an assembly in your school, please visit www.thepreventionteam.com!

411 PAIN CONTRIBUTES THOUSANDS TO ELEMENTARY LITERACY CAMPAIGN

The excitement was in the air as Castle Hill Elementary students entered the 411 PAIN Scholastic Read and Rise Assembly. An exhilarating speech from local radio DJ’s prepared the cheerful youth for the 411 Pain representatives, who gave an awesome read-a-long . As the kids cheered and applauded, 411 Pain presented a check to the sea of young smiling faces for over $2,900. A roar from the elementary school assembly hall echoed from door to door as the 411 Pain Team informed the students they will each receive a $5 gift certificate to allow them to purchase at least 1 book at the Scholastic book fair. This amazing event sent chills through the crowd. "To see the smile and amazement in a child's face when they realize it is their own personal book, is the most rewarding part of this program" mentions Cici Seda, Director of 411 Pain Promotions. Young boys and girls rushed to find pens, pencils, crayons, markers and any writing utensils they had to begin creating special thank you cards for the team at 411 Pain. The sentiment resonated in each heart felt card from the students. Thank you Castle Hill Elementary for the warm reception and to all the students, we are happy to see you all were able to get your favorite books. Dr. Robert Lewin, President of 411 Pain states, “On behalf of 411 Pain, Happy Reading and to Clear Channel and Scholastic, thank you for taking an interest in furthering the education of the young minds in South Florida, you all are doing a fantastic job. It is my pleasure to continue supporting the schools and students throughout our community.”

The Prevention Team | Anti-Bullying – Pro Children Safety & Education

Chattanooga area student wages campaign against bullying

Throughout elementary and middle school, Jasmine Scruggs witnessed the continual bullying of certain friends and classmates.

It outraged her, but she said many of her peers and teachers responded with apathy.

"It's just like a rite of passage -- like it's OK," said the 17-year-old Scruggs. "But it's not."

Now a senior at Tyner Academy, she's focused much of this school year on the issue of bullying. For her required senior project, she's planning a February event to raise awareness and money to combat bullying in local schools.

Scruggs said she's always been irked by bullying, but she decided to take action after reading a 2010 Times Free Press story about a local eighth-grader who wrote a letter to his principal and the superintendent, asking to switch schools because of ongoing bullying.

"We really don't deserve that," Scruggs said. "School is a place for learning. You shouldn't have all those extra problems. You shouldn't be scared going to school. It's sad. It's disgusting."

Scruggs' event, set for Feb. 25, will feature poetry, dance and songs by local youths that address bullying.

"I want it to be so many people that it's overflowing," she said. "How could we sit around and act like this is OK?"

All proceeds from the fundraiser will go to Students Taking a Right Stand, or STARS, a nonprofit that works closely with Hamilton County Schools to support a healthy school environment. The group also works with teachers and students on combating bullying.

The Prevention Team and 411 Pain Support the youth making a positive impact on their community and we encourage everyone to help stop bullying today.

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The effects of bullying last forever....

I WAS bullied at school. This was the 1960s and it was seen then as part of growing up.

You didn't dob or you'd be hammered behind the shelter sheds. You didn't tell your parents as they would simply say it was part of learning to be a man.

To be a man, I joined the school cadets. It was here that I understood what institutionalised bullying was all about. If you wore a peaked cap and had pips on your shoulder epaulets, that sanctioned you to do exactly what you liked.

I was humiliated and beaten. I lasted a year. I still have an aversion to seeing army uniforms.

It was some comfort that when I left school and began training as a teacher that I realised that there was a raft of literature devoted to bullying. I was not alone. I read of Australia's legendary ballet dancer Robert Helpmann and how he was bullied unmercifully at school because he could dance.

And I read with gut-turning revulsion the frank admission of the historian Manning Clark, how when he was a student at Melbourne Grammar, the terrors of the notorious long dorm were visited on him and he was subjected to what he described as the "theatre of cruelty".

When I became a teacher I entered the classroom feeling for the broken and bereft, the small, the timid, the socially outcast, the dull, the nerdy kids and the students who were gay.

The daily terror that gay boys felt of being discovered or even suspected is a lingering reality. It still continues today. If you are called a "fag", you will be a school leper.

This is why the campaign against bullying of all kinds is long overdue.

When I began teaching, computers were not commonplace. Cyber bullying was unknown, not to mention texting or sexting. It is hard to imagine a more pernicious and devastatingly insistent form of harassment. It only takes one word, one image.

TPT: "Bullying is one of the worst forms of abuse that can be taken out on a young individual we must connect as a population; from parents to young adults to make positive strides in creating a bully free society!"

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