Workplace Bullying

When people think of bullying it is mostly thought of as something that happens to our youth.  However, bullying at the work place is a very real thing and it happens every day in businesses around the world.  In fact, in a 2010 survey conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute, they estimated that 35% of workers experience bullying first hand.  The similarities with the school yard are uncanny too. Workplace bullying does not discriminate when it comes to gender or race, and with the majority of the bullying being same gender harassment it's like high school all over again.  The main difference between the two, however, is that in the workplace it could be as subtle and as clandestine as sabotaging another person's work or as extreme as in your face violence.  It can also either take place between a boss and their subordinates or between co-workers.  

I dare you to pull my finger!        

Workplace bullying is the ultimate undermining to legitimate business practices.  It has the ability to damage the bottom line, which is the sole purpose of any business.  If a co-worker is harassing you and stopping you from doing your job properly wouldn’t it be in the best interest of your boss to stop such behavior? You bet it would be, especially if that person has their own boss to answer to.  Working in a professional environment is all about accountability.  Part of being a boss or manager is making sure productivity stays at a high and that all interpersonal issues get resolved.  However, many of the reasons why a person never comes forward when being bullied at the office is the same reason why a child will not tell their peers.  The fear of repercussions from the bully are a scary thought when you job and income are on the line.  There are very few of us out there that can jeopardize their employment by accusing another of harassment.

You have to remember though that bullying takes place for the same reasons at both the schoolyard and workplace.  Bullies are driven by deep-seated insecurities that can arise at opportune times.  Whether to make themselves feel better or to further drive their ambitions by targeting the best employees, bulling can take the form of many different types.  They can be really aggressive or extremely secretive of their behavior towards their targets.  Pushing you as you get in the elevator may get you heated and give you the ability to focus your annoyance on someone, but secretly eating your lunch will probably have a bigger effect on you on the whole.  It’s the bullies we don’t see in the workplace that sometimes have the longest lasting effects. A loss of money and lack of energy from malnutrition will definitely set you back farther in your career than a shove.

Larger corporate jobs will have human resource departments that specialize in deterring and stopping work place bullying, but they are not always aware that such behavior even exists.  If you do work for such a corporation it would be best to alert your human resources representative in a private manner to discuss your concerns.  They will most assuredly reprimand the bully if such behavior is occurring due to the corporate mentality of steering clear of law suits and protecting themselves. However, understand that there are no laws in this country that are in place to stop such behavior.  If nothing is done and you say attain a lawyer, there is no guarantee that it is something that can be proven in a court of law.  You will also run the risk of ostracizing yourself from your other co-workers if such claims are not witnessed by others. I don't know of many companies that like to hire employees with what they might see as frivolous lawsuits against past employers either.  Of course it is wrong, but that is why you have to be very very careful how you proceed in the world of adult workplace bullying.

The bottom line is that you will find bullying no matter where you go, and no matter how old you are.  It is up to us, the individual, to help put a stop to bullying when it rears its ugly head.  Ignoring it will not make it go away, and running from it will sometimes only make it worse by feeding the bully. 

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The Adventures of Karen Klein

I’m sure everyone by now has seen the video that has been posted online about a 68 year woman named Karen Klein who was bullied by a pack of middle schoolers.  Their insults are so brutal it brought the poor woman to tears.

Little did one of the kids know that when he commented that she does not have family because "they all killed themselves because they didn't want to be near you” that her oldest son took his own life 10 years ago.  This is the ignorance of bullying at its best, and I can guarantee it will be something that kid will regret saying for the rest of his life. 

I myself had to ride the middle school bus when I was that age and I don’t remember having the need for bus monitors.  I guess the times have changed.  Sure there was bullying back then, but I remember a time where we respected our elders.  Sure we might have made fun of the bus driver, but never to the point where you would drive them to tears.  Don’t any of these kids have grandparents or common sense?  I understand the needing to fit in, but respect is something you teach at home.  I guarantee not one of those kids would let anyone talk to their grandmother that way.  Yet there they are ganging up on her like a pack of wolves on an injured lamb.  I know I must sound like the crotchety old man waving his fist in the air, but there has to be a line drawn in the sand. 

Kudos goes out to the kid who recorded and posted the video online for others to see.  It is individuals like that who help the world see how this bullying trend has to stop.  That person should get an award because you very well know that they had to take heat from other bullies on the bus and at school for being a “snitch”.  It definitely took a lot of courage to come forward.  I’m sure the last thing that whistle blower needed was to have the profanity laced bullying directed at them instead.

The police department that is handling the matter is treating it as a harassment case and not a crime.  I can understand the reasons why, and the woman in question just wanted an apology.  Well as of today she has gotten those apologies, and then some.  There was an online petition started to send Karen Klein on a vacation and that has raised over 500,000 dollars!  It is a shining example of human kindness, and one that I hope will be passed along to others.  I look forward to the future news reports of Karen Klein taking her whole family on a nice vacation and getting to hear about some of those amazing adventures.

Hopefully, the kids in question learned their lesson and they did not just give her empty apologies. Only time will tell if they continue their ways, but at least the public was notified that such behavior was going on.  Bullying like this can only be helped if people become aware that it is taking place, and can only be rectified if we continue to care.  For those of us out there that are still being bullied, stay strong.  And for those that are witnesses to such behavior take a lesson from this and remember that it is okay to stand up for others.  After all, if Karen Klein was your grandmother, wouldn't you do the same? 

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Social Network Bullying

Bullying has become an American epidemic as of late.  With the advent of social media, not only has it become easier to pick on someone, but it has become more visible to the public in general.  Even though the technology has progressed the speed and ways someone can bully, the reasons have remained the same.   Bullying isn’t blind, but it is most definitely ignorant.  Underlying factors to why a person is bullied can still be attributed to looks, speech, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, social beliefs, or just simply a way to show off and prove dominance.  Just because it takes place in social media does not change the "whys". 

 An Old man has scars on his face? Definitely an opening to why a young person would make fun of him, but what they wouldn’t realize is those scars might be from his military career and he got those from protecting our rights.  Those same rights that are being abused by a bully making fun of him.  This ignorance can be passed along to a young pregnant girl.  Sure she makes for an easy target for a pack of juveniles, especially because of shows like 16 and Pregnant on MTV, but little would they know she might be pregnant because of an unfortunate rape.  It is this very ignorance of facts that drive most bullies down their destructive paths.    

However, when we speak of social media bullying this can be a direct effect on how a person acts or speaks on camera or on their Facebook page.  It’s a general consensus that people say and do stupid things all the time.  But never before in human history has the stupid things we say and do become permanent on a social platform.  Many times these are not even self-inflicting screw ups.  What if a young kid slips and falls walking down the hallway at school and someone happens to catch it on camera? It might become viral on their school network, and yes, it will be embarrassing to all the kids that person sees on a daily basis, but imagine if you were that person and it goes viral on YouTube.  I’ve read the comments people post on there and they are brutal.  And the fact that it is anonymous makes it even worse. Up until the last decade or so bullying was a face to face problem.  Now anyone from anywhere in the world has the ability to throw racial and sexual slurs to anyone that is on a social network.  All you need for that is an email address, and you can acquire a new one of those very easily from any number of internet providers.  Unfortunately, it is like the Wild West out there. Except this time there are no Wyatt Earps to help corral the bad guys and make sure justice is served.  And sure posts can be removed, but usually only after the damage is done.  It is not just the typical bullies either.  There are kids out there that are usually the ones being bullied in life that find a release in becoming bullies online.  Anger that is directed at those who otherwise they could not make fun of are now the focus of their rage. 

If there were to be a silver lining to all the state of the art bullying, it would be that cries for help can no longer go unnoticed.  For ignoring them usually comes with huge penalties.  It seems like every day in the news young children and adults everywhere are committing suicide that can be linked back to bullying of some kind.  And usually you can find their previous cries for help on their social network accounts.  With our growing knowledge of these avenues of interaction we are learning to look for early signs of severe depression and misconduct.  Prior to the age of technology we wouldn't be able to spot these troubled individuals before it was too late.

  So who are these new sheriffs that are going to stop this cyber-bulling from taking place? It's not going to come down to a single person.  It is going to take a collective effort from all of us who frequent these sites to patrol them for offenders.  But even before that it starts at home.  It starts with what we teach our children.  How they interact with their siblings and peers, and especially how they respond to criticism.  Because one thing we will not be short of in our internet lives is criticism.  This isn't a place were people will be polite to you if they do not like something about you, or about your taste or distaste for something.  We are going to have to teach our future generations that with every effort of positivity you put into something there is more than likely going to be an equal effort of negativity being pushed back at you.  It is how you handle these potential bullies that will make or break you and them.  Take away a bullies need for superiority and you take away their power.  Bullies without that power are not bullies at all, they become sad and desperate people that hopefully change their ways of social interaction.

The awareness the media has for bullying these days is at an all time high, but we need to make sure it continues until ultimately it is abolished.  However, we do have to be careful not to eventually cross the line and become a nation and world that stands against our deepest values.  The ability to talk freely must always thrive, but it is in our own natures and our own educations and social lives that we have to turn the Wild West of the internet into the promised land of the New American Frontier.

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Self-Confident People Make More Money, Study

Children with low-self confidence are not only bully magnets. Low self-confidence translates into lower earnings once bullying victims become adults. 


University of Florida management professor 
Timothy Judge says: 
"People with high opinions of themselves as teenagers and young adults drew bigger salaries in middle age than their less confident counterparts, and the gap was widest for those from privileged backgrounds."

This means that even if you grew up with wealthy parents, you're more likely to earn more money if you have high self-esteem than if you have low self-confidence (and wealthy parents). 

The financial status and income of your parents can help you earn money in the short term, but your self-confidence and self-esteem translates to long-term wealth and earnings.

Professor Judge found that self-esteem makes more impact if your parents have professional occupations or backgrounds. People from affluent families earn $28,000 more per year if they're confident, as compared to those who have wealthy parents but have low self-esteem. Those from less advantaged families only earn $7,000 more if they have high self-esteem than those who have lower self-confidence.

Your background makes a difference for your future, but your self-confidence gives you an extra advantage when it comes to making money.

Agreeableness Is Penalized 

Analyzing data from the Dutch DNB Household Survey, Nyhus and Pons [2005] found 

that among women agreeableness was associated with lower wages while men 

received a premium for autonomy (as tenure increases) and for conscientiousness 

(at the beginning of an employment relationship). 

Study confirmed that for both genders agreeableness was penalized while 

openness to experience was rewarded with higher wages in the labour market.

How Self-Esteem Affects Financial Income

Positive self-regard makes a difference in all aspects of your life! When you have high levels of self-confidence, you:

• Are more likely to take risks.
• Don't blame yourself for mistakes.
• Bounce back easier after failure.
• Are more motivated to achieve.
• Have ambitious goals.
• Make less self-destructive choices.
• Are more likely to ask for help or seek support.
• Strongly believe in yourself.

How to Increase Self-Esteem and Earn More Money

One way to build a positive self-concept is to succeed at slightly difficult things – and learn to bounce back from failures. Try setting small challenges at which you're likely to taste success, such as making conversation with a stranger at a party or speaking up at a meeting at work.

Work up to the bigger goals -- like earning a million or more dollars a year -- and go easy on yourself when you stumble.

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Comebacks for Victims of Name Calling

Just about every person has found themselves the victim of name calling at least once in their lives.

A kid with provocative name becomes a victim of school bullying throughout the childhood. 

How to help a child to stand up for himself, 

to remain self-confident and stop bullies. 

Find out few tested comebacks from bullystoppers.com, first free bully reporting web site.

Comebacks are not for everyone!  

Comebacks can be helpful when dealing with mean kids, however, kids should practice comebacks with an adult. Comebacks don't stop bullying, BUT they can increase confidence, which can discourage bullies.  

Comebacks is not a return insult! Never use a comeback if a kid may become challenged or violent!   

Here's an advice on using comebacks from bullystoppers.com:  

  

The key to comeback lines is to remain COOL and AVOID the temptation to trade name calling or personal insults with the bully or teaser.  A great comeback line is brief and to the point and leaves the bully or teaser feeling that they did not get to you!  Don't forget to always look them in the eye and keep cool - anger is a sign to them that what they are doing is working.  Try some of the following, however always remember:  if another student is threatening physicalviolence toward you, don't say anything to him or her - do your best to get away from the situation and to where a teacher or other adult is located. 

Perfect Comebacks:

"You - You're good!"

"Very good!."

"Ok, I'm hurt."

"What? Again?"

"Is this your goal in life or something?"

"Not getting tired of this?"

"This....... again?"

"Thank you!"

"Grow up."

"Great try."

"That one hurt."

"Sticks and stones."

"Mission accomplished."

"You are wasting my time."

"Funny..... funny.  Laugh....laugh."

"And with a smile on his face...."

"You're the KING"

What? Are you talking to me?

"Blah  - blah"

"New material?"

"The real you can't be this mean."

"You used to be a good kid."

Or just wait a bit and change your name!

There's a reason Lea Michele is so convincing as a bullied teen on the hit show 'Glee,' -- the star reveals she was the victim of bullying in her real life, too! The taunts were specifically hurtful when they came to Lea's original last name, "Sarfati." In fact, the teasing got so bad that Lea took it upon herself to change her surname altogether!

"I don't use it a lot because I got 'Lea So Fatty' and 'Lea So Farty' in school,"  -shared the star of the movie 'New Year's Eve'. 

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Disney to Bully Obese Kids With It's New Theme Park

Disney had to close a new theme park exhibit promoting healthy eating and exercise, but not because it was ineffectual. 
The reason? 
It was deemed too offensive to overweight children. 

Habit Heroes, an attraction at Disney's Epcot resort in Orlando, Florida, used obese cartoon villains called Snacker, Lead Bottom and The Glutton to highlight the dangers of junk food, too much television, and inactivity. 

But critics accused Disney of taking "the side of the bullies" by reinforcing stereotypes of overweight children and stigmatising them for their condition, prompting the entertainment giant to shutter the attraction for a "retooling".

Children in Grades 3 through 6 who are obese are more likely to be bullied than their normal-weight peers, a new study has found. 

"When we started this study, I really suspected that we might find that the obesity or overweight might not be the driving force," says the lead author of the study, Julie Lumeng, M.D., a professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor. "What we found is that it didn't matter. No matter how good your social skills, if you were overweight or obese you were more likely to be bullied." 

The study involved 821 US boys and girls 8 to 11 years old. In third grade, 17 percent of the children were obese and 15 percent were overweight.

A quarter of the children reported being bullied, although their mothers said about 45 percent of them were bullied.

According to the investigators, the odds of being bullied were 63 percent higher for an obese child, compared to a healthy-weight peer.

Positive Effect of Bullying the Obese

Can the bullying be considered a positive thing if it motivates a child to acquire good habits? See yourself:

Just a year ago the 6th grader Mason Harvey weighed 206 pounds. Today he's 85 pounds lighter.

Harvey says the reason he decided to lose weight was because he was being bullied. Starting in the third grade, the other kids would call him names like "fat" and "jelly roll" and push him around.

Harvey was fed up with the bullying. So he began to take small steps. He hit the gym, stopped drinking soda pop, burgers and pizza.

Today he eats carrots at school for snacks, with a bit of ranch dressing. He says he can't believe he was 85 pounds heavier.

But Harvey decided not to stop there, he insisted that his parents join him.

"We're not just sleeping in all day, laying around," explains Mike Harvey. "We're getting up, we're moving and it's making us feel better."

His father once weighed more than 324 pounds, now he's down to 298.




Obese Boys Are More Likely to Be Bullied

The researchers claim that boys more often experience overt bullying victimization than girls. Gender differences are also reported in relational victimization before adolescence in the USA. Boys are more often victims of physical bullying if they are physically weaker, while recent evidence also suggests that overweight and obese adolescent boys are more likely to be perpetrators of bullying than their average weight peers. 

See how The Prevention Team http://thepreventionteam.com/helps school kids stop bullying here: 
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Babies Are the Best Weapon Against Bullies, Research Found

Around babies tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up.                       
In the previous posts I mentioned that bullying is actually natural. Animals fight each other, the stronger species get to stay, while the weaker ones must die - an evolutionary law.We humans are the part of the nature and it seems that we are also hardwired to be aggressive and selfish. Well, the researchers from Princeton University found there is a biological reason for compassion.


Brain scans reveal that when we contemplate violence done to others we activate the same regions in our brains that fire up when mothers gaze at their children. It suggests that caring for strangers may be instinctual. When we help others, areas of the brain associated with pleasure also light up. Research by scientists Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello indicates that toddlers as young as 18 months behave altruistically. 

More important, we are beginning to understand how to nurture this biological potential. It seems that it’s not only possible to make people kinder, it’s possible to do it systematically at scale – at least with school children. 

That’s what one organization based in Toronto called Roots of Empathy has done.

Roots of Empathy, a Toronto-based organization is doing incredible work in the hopes of reducing bullying worldwide, by increasing empathy in schoolchildren. 

At the heart of the program are a neighbourhood infant and parent who visit the classroom every three weeks over the school year. 

A trained Roots of Empathy Instructor coaches students to observe the baby's development and to label the baby's feelings. In this experiential learning, the baby is the "Teacher" and a lever, which the instructor uses to help children identify and reflect on their own feelings and the feelings of others. 

This "emotional literacy" taught in the program lays the foundation for more safe and caring classrooms, where children are the "Changers". 

They are more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy) and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically and emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other cruelties.

In the Roots of Empathy program children learn how to challenge cruelty and injustice. Messages of social inclusion and activities that are consensus building contribute to a culture of caring that changes the tone of the classroom. The Instructor also visits before and after each family visit to prepare and reinforce teachings using a specialized lesson plan for each visit. Research results from national and international evaluations of Roots of Empathy indicate significant reductions in aggression and increases in pro-social behavior."

Watch baby Sydney visiting the high school within Roots of Empathy program

So far our researchers have evaluated ROE’s impact on children up to three years after program completion. Results show an increase in social/emotional understanding and pro-social behaviour and a decrease in aggression compared to children who do not participate.  Children become more caring, helpful and kind, and feel more accepted by their peers. 

The program has gone into 13,000 classrooms; when writer David Bornstein investigated, he said: “What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes.”

So maybe babies are the answer. And since kids don’t get to experience babies at home anymore, I guess we need to bring babies to school.

See how The Prevention Team helps school kids stop bullying here: 
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